Cobbling together the past to form ideas of next, I play the odds, hoping that this time I will see the future form into what I am thinking. The odds?
Time and the combinations of universal transience on one side, with my ability to guess the future on the other.
One day I stop playing.
And, the Universe smiles.
Time gently re-frames the spaces in my life.
There comes a day in everyone’s lives that they realize that they cannot know the future. We love movies, books, stories, and talking about the future. But, we don’t ever actually know what going to be, do we?
There are reasons we want to know and predict, most of them have to do with being secure and safe in a world that isn’t that way at all. Some of the reasons are wishful thinking and some we list under goals and plans. But the universe holds mystery in it’s heart and those things we think we know are always different than how we thought we knew them.
We build our future by adjusting our dreams to what is actual in the now we live in.
What I do know is this. I don’t know what’s going to happen and I find that exciting and a support for curiosity. I have no guarantees and that’s the ride. Not knowing what happens next is the Thrill and not the anxiety of life. Uncertainty is the flavor that makes life delicious. It’s not poison, it’s the spice and flavoring of our lives.
The second thing is that I am so grateful to be here to have the next experience. Out of all the combinations of things that happened and things that didn’t happen, all the things that went left instead of right or the other way. I am here despite all the disasters that have occurred on this planet and could have erased the timeline of the past future me’s. Every single thing that occurred for me to be here. What more of a miracle would I possible want from life? How could I possibly think that anything is owed me? Call it karma or God or fate or whatever. I am grateful to be here.