The Experience is the Thing

To experience kindness, act in kindness.

For me, receiving kindness from others has a different feel that being kind. In receiving kindness there is the struggle with conditioned separate personalities struggle with thinking I don’t need help, caring, or support. I “should” be able to take care of myself. So there is that hint of embarrassment when being the focus of someone’s kindness. It makes accepting kindness uncomfortable and a little strange. I know the act of accepting is also an act of kindness in itself, allowing that kindness to play out, but when it’s directed towards me there is always that tiny, or sometimes not so tiny, struggle.

What I have noticed is acting, and so being kind, is different. In being kind there is a sense of how kindness actually feels. There is a sense of connection, caring, concern, need, relevancy, appropriateness, and affection that rises in acting kindly. (None of that happens if kindness is being offered to increase separate self’s egoic importance. That, “see what a kind person I am” frame of reference.) So, for me, in order to experience kindness the only thing I need to do is act kindly. Opportunities for being kind are endless. So I can, in theory, experience kindness all the time.

Be KInd!

Bryan Wagner

2 thoughts on “The Experience is the Thing

Add yours

  1. I struggle to receive help or assistance from people too, I mostly think I can do everything by myself and enjoys being able to do things for myself without help of others, I know it’s not a great habit but I do find it really hard to quit it….. hoping it gets better as the day goes by. Peace and love Bryan šŸ„°

    Liked by 1 person

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