Recently I was involved in a conversation about desire and lots of folks were debating the effects of desire. They were seeking some sort of resolution about the state of being desirous. I understand the quandary, but have some thoughts about any process that involves “thinking” about feelings as a way to resolve how to experience them.
Extracting an emotional state and trying to “fix” or “resolve” that state only results in idea’s and concepts about that state that will disappear in the stream of thought and time. Then, when the emotional state rises, I’m back to reactions. So, in order to examine something like desire, I can only examine it while it rises. The same is true of any emotion based experiences. I simply can’t think my way out of a feeling. Feelings rise, and either I will be paying attention or not.
My experience is to be aware of the feeling, “desiring” and examine it when it rises. What is this state? What am I desiring? How does this state feel in this moment while it’s happening? Is it helpful? Is it useful? Questioning and examining the actual state. It’s not judging the state, it’s examination and query about the nature of the state. Oddly enough, the inquiry often changes the focus of attention and the feeling, in this case, desiring, dissipates.
It’s one of the things I love about the practice of attention, we allow ourselves to avoid intellectualizing about our experience. Instead we pay attention to the experience itself and decide for ourselves how we directly experience. It’s always good to hear how others relate, but the reality is any changes will occur during our own examination of our own process. We cannot virtually share experience, we can’t “fix” each other, we can only attend to the experience we are having in this moment, and see where that takes us.
Take care of you, today. Laugh and smile with others and yourself.