If I step away from what could be, what should be, and what must be, what’s left?
Lately I’ve been asking myself this a lot as a contemplation. How would I function minute to minute without all the drama and wasted energy that comes with a separate self, that social and cultural ego construct? The separate self that’s always seeking attention, status, permission, and approval from outside it’s own experiences? The self that never quite meets with it’s own approval so substitutes a search for approval outside itself?
Perhaps, because of a few thousand years of social conditioning, I may never know. But, I do think it’s worth the effort of seeking out and recognizing the amount of anxiety, sadness, fear, and loneliness that rises when I constantly seek reassurance about my status from others. When in reality I am the only one who can possibly know my own experience, the one that rises when I pay attention to my life from exactly where the body is breathing.
I don’t have answers or solutions, but I am suspecting that the journey to find freedom from social conditioning is, in itself, a small freedom. I am incredibly OK almost all the time. No drama’s or emergency’s, just life unfolding in it’s own unfathomable and mysterious way.
My experience says keep seeking and finding out, question everything, and keep peeling back the layers.
The weather is beautiful in Michigan this weekend. Take care of you outside if you can!