The Hardened Heart and Tao

I get involved in discussions concerning this planet and how we all treat each other. And, of course, what we can do about it to enable peace and prosperity for all. I always end up in the same container. So much injustice and inequality in our world hinges on what people believe and think is true. Most of these belief’s were implanted as conditioning since birth. What’s right and wrong, what’s acceptable, who to have as friends and lovers, what rules and regulations apply, what morals and ethics have to be protected. But what it all comes down to is the way our stream of thought is attached to beliefs. We go to war over what rises in the stream of thought and our beliefs. We intellectually agree to many things that go by the way side the instant the separated self is dented.

But pretending to change intellectually and cognitively is easy, learning to feel a new way in the heart is a lot of intense work. The emotional heart is where a shift becomes the way.

So we can learn new ideas, contemplate new behaviors, and learn new ways to function. But how do we change a hardened heart? The heart that is embedded in what’s right and wrong, that’s invested in protecting ego, that lives in emotions and the way things feel, and loves it’s own opinions?

I have no easy answers. But I do suspect what’s helpful is taking the time to see how we really are, not our idea’s of who we are, but how do I operate in the real world? So here’s two self reflective thoughts.

How do I feel about things when I am by myself?

I find it more difficult to pretend with myself. Because what I really believe and feel in my heart will surface in the mirror of contemplation. It’s the heart singing back with an honest message. Saying what’s correct and portraying an accepted belief is easy with others. Not so much when I am facing a mirror.

Do I want to live my life’s experience feeling this way?

If the answer is no, then wait and be patient. Do not jump on the first response but let the stream of thought start to reflect, stay open, breath, and wait. It may take a while for the answer to appear, sometimes minutes, sometimes days or months.

So often the answer appears without a struggle and without attempting to force it. Other times, it will appear as insight while your going about your day. The point is to keep listening with the understanding you’re seeking change. We are so much more compassionate and open than our conditioned self reveals in day to day life. So have those intimate moments with you, I think it’s worth the time.

Take care of you,

Bryan Wagner

8 thoughts on “The Hardened Heart and Tao

Add yours

  1. Everything you expressed here is what I too am interested in and have spent loads of time deep diving into. Since the last month especially, unplugging showed me a great perspective on what I practice and what I found in the world without my device as an appendage 😉 I always get soul shivers reading your words on here Bryan, thank you for showing up so transparently and compassionately ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you my friend. I have dedicated myself to exploring that which informs without using language. It still seems that sui generis experience is vital to the work. It’s warming when others indicate they too are exploring a similar experience. Much love.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I started telling people around me to ask themselves what their opinion on a subject would be if the Bible didn’t mention it or said the opposite of it says now on it, will that change their stance? But the Bible has already made a stance and so for them there’s no point to have one of their own, especially if it’s likely to be against the one the bible takes.
    Unfortunately those of us open and willing to listen to other views or see things differently rather get tagged as the ones with hardened hearts, refusing to choose right and making justifications to why what’s wrong is acceptable. It gets really sad sometimes.
    Thank you for the post ❤️✌🏿

    Liked by 1 person

    1. For me it’s also sad. But regardless of how others may be I find that once I started checking out the validity of my beliefs, and realizing how many weren’t valid, I can’t go back. Only forward. Some people need their belief’s to cope with their lives. I truly understand that. Believe what you will, right?
      But it does raise a lot of resistance taking that stance of inquiry and doubt. But I try to remind myself that I chose this search, and I get to meet others, like yourself, who are fellow explorers. A big smile for you!

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: