When life tilts and moves faster than it seems possible I often loose the perspective of returning to balancing. It seems as though ego’s goal is to be in perfect balance while in life I can only try to maintain the act of balancing while sledding downhill in life’s avalanche.
One of those things that seems to help is staying in proximity of the breath and body. That seems to drag all those delusions and fantasies about what may be into the area I exist, and they fade. All those would, should, could, need to be, will be later, thoughts disappear when I find myself exactly in the environment I happen to be in noticing.
“What’s right here now?” What am I looking at, hearing, smelling, tasting, and holding in these moments? Where did those great important worries, apprehensions, concerns, opinions, and alternate ego based universe’s go?
They didn’t go anywhere, they only exist in conditioned ego’s stories about life and how “I” am the center of everything. Which, in attention doesn’t appear true at all. In attention I am typing these words and the only struggle, if I can call it that, is Spike laying across my left arm, drooling and purring. As I look around the only drama I can find in the office is tied to cognitive wants, desires, artificial struggles with life that are designed to put conditioned ego at center, but when I am right here paying attention, I cannot find them. Just me, in a calm drama less setting. Looking at Spike, who’s now asleep, I become aware that most of my life exists in this present mode, nothings happening, perhaps that’s the real Nirvana? Perhaps that place where drama fades is the actuality of life until conditioned personality decides it needs a little excitement and a way to reinforce ego.
Right here and now my biggest challenge seems to be my left arm falling asleep and a need to move Spike.
Noticing where I happen to be often breaks the fantasy. Of course it doesn’t last, and the ego seeks more drama to reinforce itself. But that’s why the practice of attention and developing a meditative perspective is useful, it answers the question, “what is this right now?”
May today be interesting and filled with noticing,