On my better days I am close to the understanding that there isn’t another better moment or alternate universe in this moment of attention. It feels like conditioned personality is constantly pointing to anther different, and much better, place outside the current moments I exist.
And sometimes I find myself attempting to create some better experience in the future, usually by trying to become some sort of better me. How does that work? There isn’t a better me than the one I notice right now. It seems as though this drive to become something other than what I am was embedded at an early age.
“Go forth and Be Better Than You are Right Now,” became some sort of strange mantra tied to the way others perceived and experienced me.
How about focusing on the way I perceive me?
What if I cut through the crap of all those conditioned inner conversations, the should, would, and need to dialogues, that are meant to demean me and just accept that I am ordinary, common, one of billions, and also extraordinarily exquisite, the only me that will ever exist? Beyond any applied value?
We are all good enough, always have been, and always will be. Anything else that rises is just socially conditioned personality striving for attention and external worth. I chose being good enough today and smile at the bittersweet.
Take care of you and all you love.