Tao of Adjusting

Lately I noticed that my life is a series of adjustments. That’s actually what my life experience happens to be. Life happens and I adjust. I plan, life happens, and I adjust.

I am considering that the reason I experience suffering is when I don’t feel like I want or need to adjust. I ask myself senseless questions like, “Why does it have to be this way?” or “Why do they have to be that way?” or “Why me?” All those questions are my Conditioned personality trapping me into focusing on questions that have no answers. None. Zero. They aren’t even philosophical questions. They self torture questions.

There is another useless question, “Why do I have to be this way?” Which really points to that strange thinking that I would somehow be better off not being me. That one’s a little scary and a bit weird. I am me.

I started applying the idea of adjusting to what’s going on in front of me without asking those questions. In part because I have learned that I can only adjust to what’s in my environment and what I am currently in relationship with moment to moment. It’s difficult to adjust to something that is outside of my current environment. Instead of wondering why life is unfolding the way it is, I focus on the question, “What do I do next?” That seems to apply to almost everything that happens.

Adjusting means to give and take, hopefully a give and take that results in balancing. Adjusting doesn’t mean just accepting and giving anything up. It relies on creating a balance. Relationships take the most adjustments for me. I was conditioned with this sad little theory that if only the entire world would just do what I want then I, and everyone else, would be happy. I noticed that having this fantasy doesn’t work well. I find adjusting to others means to find ways to continue to be in relationship while simultaneously taking care of my own needs. I don’t have the energy to deal with the amount of resistance that appears when I don’t stay in that mode of adjusting to life’s gifts. (Everything appears as a gift if you value the experience of learning!)

So now I adjust, I flow, I wobble a little, but always attempt to stay in balance.

Do you resist what is or do you immediately find those areas where you can adjust and take care of you?

Take care of you, you are the only one of you there is.

Bryan

11 thoughts on “Tao of Adjusting

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  1. Change is constant and life is full of adjustments.
    We can not remain stagnant that is why we need to welcome change and be opened to learn. Things don’t always go our way. I also had the theory that if only the entire world would just do what I want then I, and everyone else, would be happy. 
    Indeed, it doesn’t work that way. We will have to adjust. While adjusting, it’s important we take care of our needs.
    Strike a balance in life.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I really like your beautiful blog. A pleasure to come stroll on your pages. A great discovery and a very interesting blog. I will come back to visit you. Do not hesitate to visit my universe. See you soon. 🙂

    Like

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