Will be the one you build with yourself.
What I am suggesting is that although we are social entities what really matters in life is the relationship that you build with yourself. We use the social mirror to see who others think we are and react to that. Although awareness of projection will tell us we are reacting to ourselves not others. This has gone on for thousands of years and I am not convinced that it has offered anything of real value.
We can, in the bravest way possible, seek out the things that reflect on a deeper level which means a fearless ongoing examination of ourselves. Find the things in life that reflect the genuine me. We don’t find out “what” we are from other people. We can be taught, socialized, or trained into a pattern or form. But, it’s not who we really are!
I have this opportunity to work on finding out what I am without the story that has been handed to me through centuries of cultural and social conditioning. Not who am I, but “what” am I?
If we love others, and I mean the deep connective love, we begin to understand that the most direct line to helping others lies in being aware of what we are and living from that honest place. Others, much like ourselves, do not do what we say, they only watch and do what we do. It’s the best opportunity ever to develop a self awareness practice.
People will ask “How do I do that?”
I have no idea. How you do that. There are a ton of resources if you can access them. But, people have been practicing attention forever. Long before electronic media and computers.
Attention is a state of mind. It’s the willingness to attend. It isn’t something you need to learn, and in fact it’s not teachable. But it’s there if you look. No one can teach you to attend to what is here, you can decide to do that.
It’s so worth moving your reference frame. There are lots of us out here who will be glad to help.
Feel free to inquire if you think I can help.